OK, so maybe it's only by a matter of months (well, only by 5 days for one of them) but it still is a distinction that I love to celebrate...and to tease them about. Recently, one of them declared that she couldn't believe she would be fifty next year. This milestone age always seemed so far away yet here we are all about to claim it as our own. I started thinking about the last milestone birthday, 40, and how I decided to live my life leading up to it. I really dreaded turning 40; I felt like my 30s would go on forever. As they were coming to a close, I spent a lot of time comparing myself to other people my age and got very depressed. I felt like all of my goals were still years and years away from being met. I'm not even sure that I was hopeful enough to even acknowledge any progress I had made. This period of time (from around 38-40) marked a very low point in my life as I made a series of decisions that could be labeled as the typical mid-life crisis. I abruptly quit my job in a very good district, a place where I was helping students and surrounded by people I truly loved. I moved to Rochester and left my car and beautiful house behind. While I had always loved Rochester and wanted to move there, if I had been thinking clearly I would have at least been sure to have a job waiting for me (I lucked out and found a job in August). I got the first of three tattoos (no regrets there) and finally "celebrated" turning 40 by suffering a compound ankle break and spending my actual birthday in the hospital, sedated because of the emergency surgery that needed to be performed. It was a true example of the law of attraction at work in my life. I was so sure that my forties were going to suck that I attracted these bad things happening.
Whether or not one believes in the law of attraction, it is evident that dreading a number is not a positive way to spend your life. I've decided to do things differently this time around. I am looking forward to 50 and setting some goals to work towards which will benefit me at any age. I'm not making 50 the deadline to attain these goals but looking at it more like recognizing any progress I make on the way there. I have already made progress towards these goals and will continue to work on them with my focal point being October 23, 2017. On that day I want to be able to look at this blog and realize how much progress I have made. To that end, I have decided to write about my goals and progress because I have read many articles and books which have stated that writing down your goals helps cement your commitment level. I could have done this in my private diary but what fun would that be? Now I have all of you to help me be more accountable! I hope that when those of you who know me see me you will ask me how I am progressing with my goals. Holding me accountable will help me not only stay committed, but also may help some of us bond over common goals.
Now, about those goals. I'm going to warn you, some of them may seem frivolous or unattainable to you. That's okay because they are not your goals : ) I do urge you to think about your own goals and set your own timetable (no need to wait for a milestone birthday). For me, each of these goals represent something I am already working towards. While some are definitely more important to me than others, they all will improve my life in one way or another. So with no further ado, here are my 5/50 Goals:
1. The most important goal for me is to be fit by 50. Earlier this summer I started attending some intense workout classes on a regular basis. Most of the summer I have attended anywhere from 2-4 days a week. Having said that, this past week I only attended one class and over did it. I was sore the rest of the week and didn't push myself to go. I think I was sore because I went from doing one or two of the floor exercises to doing ALL of them too quickly. Now, on the one hand I'm so proud of myself that I did them all; I was terrified when I started that I would never be able to do even one. You see, for the longest time I have not been able to get up from a sitting position on the floor. For a teacher of young ones, this is a handicap that gets in the way of my connection with them. After only a few weeks of going, I am confident enough to know that I can get up on my own from the mat. But as my trainer keeps telling me, I need to push myself without overdoing it. By the age of 50, I intend to be in much better shape than I am now. No weight goals beyond being at a weight where I can comfortably go for an hour walk. From the most essential goal to the least...
2. I will grow my hair out by the time I turn 50. I had beautiful long curly hair from around the third grade (when I begged my mom for a Dorothy Hamill bowl cut and ended up looking like Paul McCartney circa 1963) until I turned 25. Because even in my 20s I felt the weight of milestone birthdays and 25 felt like a big one (one I looked forward to instead of dreading...and 25 was a great year). Ever since then I have had a love/hate relationship with a pixie cut. When I had shorter hair, I wanted it longer. When it started to grow out, I longed for the ease of the pixie. But now I'm making the decision to see how long I can grow out my hair. It now is almost at the longest I've had it in a while but that's not saying much. I'm going to make it through this uncomfortable "in-between" stage which is where I usually give up. Again, no where near as important by some of the other goals but one I intend to push myself towards.
3. I will continue my education. Although I keep up to date on educational research and do lots of professional development, I actually haven't been in school since about 2005. Part of the reason for this is that there is so much I want to study. I'm interested in getting certification in reading, k-12 and in becoming an ENL (English as a second language) teacher. I also want to achieve National Board Certification in Literacy and to achieve a Ph.D in Literacy. So instead of picking one and going for it, I have let years pass with no progress towards any of them. I am leaning towards National Board Certification and will make a final decision in September (more to come). By the time I'm 50, I will either have certification or need to retake certain sections to attain it.
4. My personal/professional lives will be in better balance. I spend way too much time on my school work. Then I spend too much of my personal time in front of the telly. This is the one goal that I actually haven't made progress towards. I'll be looking for some fun hobbies, sports, or activities to try in the coming year or so. I will write about them to let you know which ones stick and which ones don't. If you have any suggestions of things I might like to try, feel free to let me know.
5. I will be a mother. This is a goal that I had given up on recently. But after doing some serious soul searching I've decided it's one I can't let go of. I feel like I was put on this earth to be a mother to some child. I have written about how I have used my nurturing side to take care of both my students and my niece. Because of my failures in the China adoption process, I had given up hope of being a mother. But now I'm on the road again to finding my child. If all goes well, I will have a child with me by my 50th birthday. Of course, plans can go astray but it won't this time. I'm willing this wish to finally come true. I hope to be able to give more details very, very soon.
So, there it is. My plan to make 50 fabulous. While I reserve the right to adjust the goals, I will make the commitment to report on my progress in upcoming blog posts. It is my intention to not bring about the same horrendous results that turning 40 created. No 50/50 blues for me.
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